When Times Get Tough Don't Get Selfish

by Cerina X (all rights reserved and held by Submissive Loving)

Guidance for when our dominants are going through a difficult period.

I will be the first submissive to admit this. I am selfish about my needs. I am selfish about Master's time and attention. When I do not get it I can become not so pleasant to be around. I forget that I am here to fulfill HIS needs and that mine will be met as a result of fulfilling his needs. I am sure your question might be, "if I am always fulfilling the dominant's needs how can mine be met"? I've asked that same question and you are in luck today because I have the answer.

We have taken our time and have chosen the right dominant to serve. By that I mean we have chosen One we feel will best fulfill our needs. So if we have done that it stands to reason that if we keep the dominant's needs met and he/she is happy, we will reap the benefits of a satisfied dominant. I have found this to hold true through trial and error. If Master is not getting enough rest, if his mind is preoccupied by the amount of mail piling up, if his physical needs are not being met, I can guarantee that my life reflects the chaos in his. The stress on the relationship begins to build. I might act out to get more attention and I am sure you can imagine just how well THAT goes over. I lose sight of what the true problem is and begin to harbor insecurity and doubt. "Does he not want me anymore? Do I not make him happy? What is wrong with me"?

It is common for submissives to panic and blame themselves but you must not lose focus of your role in this relationship. Once balance is returned to the dominants life balance will be returned to yours.

Be Patient.
I do know how difficult that can be but you must make the sacrifice and concentrate on what will better serve the relationship in the long run. If the dominant is suffering from a great amount of stress it is not going to make life any better to have you added as yet another problem. This is not the time to be high maintenance. This is the time to prove yourself to be a valuable and indispensable asset. You CAN do it.

Find other outlets to relieve your stress over the situation other than placing your fear and insecurity in the dominant's lap. Exercise, read books, clean the house, talk to friends. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself calm.

Create a serene and safe atmosphere for the dominant to voice concerns and share problems. You will only be able to help if you have all the facts. You need to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Let your dominant know through your words and actions that he/she has nothing less than your full support and that you have his/her needs in mind.

by Cerina X

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