Rules for a D/s Relationship

by Serion Ironcroft who holds the copyright to this article. Submissive Loving attained permission to publish this article 9/9/2001.

Too many submissive women think they have to take whatever any abusive chudwah calling himself a master wants to dish out, and nobody seems to be telling them otherwise.

I believe that submissiveness in a woman is simply a personality trait, not a weakness, and certainly not a disability. I prefer strong self-centered women for my own partners and have been fortunate over the years to attract women who were submissive to me but self-assured and competent in their own lives.

During that time, I have developed some Rules for a D/s relationship.

These are not standard fantasy-fodder, but instead constitute a real framework for a long-term healthy relationship between my partners and myself.


A Work in progress...

by Serion Ironcroft

I require your obedience, although I enjoy brattiness and other playful resistance and don't consider that to be disobedience when clearly intended to enhance my enjoyment of you.

I require your utter and complete truthfulness and honesty - no withholding of any requested information, period. That includes information about personal relationships between you and other people.

When I own you, I assume ownership of your other relationships as well. I reserve rights over those relationships, however I won't interfere in them capriciously or without your full prior knowledge.

I won't require you to break a confidence without having some significant purpose of my own. I will explain my purposes to you on request, and will fairly consider your explanation as to why you might not want to disclose a confidence to me. Any such information will rest between us in confidence, and I will not reveal it to other people without your specific consent.

I offer you the safe and unrestricted right to question me about anything. I will give a truthful and honest answer to any question. If for any reason I can't answer a question directly, I'll give an honest explanation of why I can't answer you.

I offer you the right to refuse me in anything without suffering automatic retribution. Your refusal tells me something is wrong between us and is therefore a reason for serious discussion to fix problems. However, if it becomes clear that you have refused me for capricious or selfish personal reasons, I reserve the right to punish you.

If I choose to punish you, you will not enjoy the punishment. However, you have a right to my continued affection and support, especially while I'm punishing you. I will never withhold my support and affection from you as a means of punishment.

My goal is to own you entirely, and to keep you physically and emotionally healthy. I rarely require immediate full ownership and will insist on written agreements between us to define mutual expectations and obligations at every stage of ownership.

Although I expect your total and complete submission, I have no interest in running your daily life, which remains your responsibility. However, if there's anything I want from you, from something as trivial as the color of your lipstick to something as serious as quitting a job or giving up a friendship, then I expect your obedience, after any pertinent and appropriate discussions or negotiations are concluded.

I will take what I want from you in as responsible a manner as I can. I will not seriously interfere in your personal life without appropriate consideration of my own purposes as compared to the effect of my wishes on your life. However, by submitting yourself to me, you must expect me to use you as I wish.

If you want a safeword or safety signal, I'll set one up. I will respect your safewords and safety signals, but will not rely on them. I will treat your use of a safeword like any other refusal.

I consider it my responsibility to know when you're in trouble. I'll try to keep you safe no matter how thoroughly restrained or how deeply lost in subspace you might be. If I push you over an edge, I accept the responsibility of bringing you back safely.

You are my good friend, my lover and my exquisite property. I will enjoy you accordingly.

** With appreciation for the wonderful submissive women who have shared my life and taught me the value of sincerity, trust and honesty - especially my first submissive partner Melissa; my golden snow leopard beauty; my dear lost Naomi; and my stalwart LadyGold, whose love warms our home and guards my heart.
©Copyright Serion Ironcroft, 1997. All rights reserved. Reprinted with the express permission of the author.

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