True, Real, and Wannabe. Ridding ourselves of the country club mentality.

by Cerina X (all rights reserved)

This is a subject that is long overdue. I am only going to say this once, so read carefully. There is NO one true way to be a submissive, dominant, master, top, bottom, switch, slave, pet, puppy, etc..etc..etc. No one is more real than anyone else. No one is more true than anyone else and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be someone or wanting to participate in something.

Anyone who has nothing better to do than to concentrate on what, in their head, makes others somehow "less" deserving to live however they wish to, are in serious need of a hobby. We have more than enough judgmental attitudes already condemning what it is that we do from main stream society. Mostly, this stance of cutting someone else down is only done by the insecure who need something to cling to so they may convince themselves they are somehow "better" than someone else.

A submissive who discovered the lifestyle 20 years ago and has lived it ever since is no more real or true than the submissive who has just been introduced to the lifestyle and the dominant who has attended weekly whipping classes for years is no more real or true than the dominant who is picking up his/her first flogger. The couples who live together 24/7 are no more real/true than the couples who meet every other weekend. We are who and what we are regardless of the amount of knowledge we have or the amount of time we can invest.

Wannabe: Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be someone/something. We all had to start somewhere and have no right in turning up our noses to those who might simply be curious or who sincerely wish to learn more about bdsm and what it is that we do. This is not an exclusive country club. Anyone can join. Participating in bdsm activities or living a lifestyle of domination and submission does not make us any more special than anyone else.

Yes, there ARE people who are drawn to the lifestyle for the wrong reasons and as adults, when we meet these people and assess the situation, we then have the choice of supporting their illusions or writing them off. The most effective teaching tool is to teach through example. Rather than resorting to name calling and rumor we should take the high road and simply disassociate ourselves from them.


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