All rights reserved. This is an original article by Cerina X. 03/11/03. Submissive Loving holds exclusive rights.
One submissives advice to dominants having a crisis of faith.
Your life is not going well right now. You are having a crisis of faith regarding your ability to dominate successfully. You may be thinking, "If I cannot solve (insert problem here) what gives me the right to call myself a dominant?" I know you need to be in control at all times. I know you feel unsettled when everything is not going according to your plan. I also know that it is my duty to fulfill your needs. All of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I did not choose to serve you with fantasy in mind. I chose to serve a flesh and blood human being. You may not find self doubt acceptable but it is only human. Surprise surprise you are not perfect. I shall alert CNN.
I also chose to serve One who would best use my skills as a submissive. Two of those skills are providing support and understanding while putting my own needs aside. If you are not happy, I am not happy. I find my bliss through you. You might know this and may be thinking that you have no right to cause me any unhappiness because you suffer. The only true tragedy will be for you to shut me out in a moment of crisis. You are concerned about my needs right now. Well, my need is for you to communicate and allow me to be a part of the solution. I need to know that when times get rough you will not simply walk away from us because you take your responsibility for me so seriously that you feel it is best to cut me off rather than to burden me.
I am your submissive. I serve you with great pride. Know that admitting to a perceived weakness will not lessen your power over me nor will it change our relationship. It will only be an opportunity to strengthen our bond.
If an illusion of perfection is important to you in a D/s relationship you have the right to pursue it but know this, in time....once again, that illusion will be shattered. Will you give up domination altogether or simply move from submissive to submissive? If all dominants give up domination because they find themselves to be less than perfect who will be left to dominate us? It is my belief that just as submissives can only be their best with someone who accepts them for everything they are, dominants will only find bliss with a submissive who accepts all of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly.