There appears to be some confusion regarding ownership and collars. I do hope I can help to clear some of that up for you. Do remember at all times that there is not a right way or wrong way to practice domination and submission. There are some guidelines but they are only in place to help people better understand this alternative lifestyle we enjoy.
Not everyone chooses to be owned or to own. There is no law that says you must be owned or own a submissive. Some choose a more casual approach as that is what fits into their lifestyle. For those who do choose ownership it is very nearly the same. Whatever fits for you and your life is just dandy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
What is ownership? Ownership is a dominant accepting the responsibility of caring for a submissive as his property. It SHOULD be a result of two people getting to know each other well enough to make this committment. It should not be taken lightly as many responsibilities come with ownership. The submissive needs to make sure that the dominant she wishes to be owned by can fulfill those responsibilites BEFORE she accepts and the dominant should be equally positive the submissive can fulfill her end of the bargain as well. Ownership can be a very powerful tool within the relationship. Weild that power with caution and wisdom.
Being owned is a state of mind. A dominant can slap a zillion collars on a submissive and if her head space isn't with it, she isn't owned. Therefore, it stands to reason that yes, one can be owned and not wear a collar or any other physical sign of ownership.
Here is where some of the confusion and controversy gets stirred up.
The collar is a physical symbol of ownership within dominance and submission just as the wedding ring is within vanilla relationships. Some of us choose to take it just as seriously as a wedding ring if not more seriously than a ring. It is MY belief that a collar should be the grande finale and not the first step as so many seem to think it is. Would you marry someone after only knowing them a few weeks? After a few great orgasms? I would hope not. Again, ownership is powerful and meaningful. I don't think it should be treated like a game.
Do my beliefs mean that those slapping collars on someone after a few hours or days are bad people or that they are doing this all wrong? No. Everyone has a choice regarding how they live their life but I will say to you not to expect me to take that collar all that seriously. I won't and that is my right.
Accepting versus begging a collar:
Some dominants choose to offer their collar to a submissive and she then has the choice of accepting it or declining it. I think most dominants only offer when they are quite certain the answer will be a breathlessly excited, "YES!! YES!! Oh my God yes!!"
Some dominats choose to have the submissive beg for a collar. Yes, you read that correctly. I said "beg". In this case the tables are turned and it is up to the submissive to get down on her knees and make a plea for ownership. I will be begging. My begging will consist of candle light, sexy clothes, me on my knees, lots of crying and if he's lucky even a snotty nose as I pour out my heart and soul and beg to be His. He then has the choice of collaring me or refusing me.
The collar itself can actually be a collar or it can be any other symbol the dominant chooses. *grin* I take this time to remind you that some guys enjoy seeing their brand upon a woman's flesh. (( I'm feeling a bit sadistic today so I just had to add that tidbit in )) Your life, your choice.
1) Owning a human being is a huge responsibility. Do not take it lightly.
2) One can be owned without wearing a collar
3) The collar is a symbol of ownership and committment
4) There is no right way or wrong way, only YOUR way
5) Choose carefully and wisely. After that, enjoy your life!!