The Cinderella Complex

Why you should dump the Prince Charming fantasy.

by Cerina, all rights reserved and exclusively held by Submissive Loving

I would like to briefly address a situation I have observed among many submissive women and find a tad unsettling. It is, The Cinderella Complex. You remember her, don't you? She had a terrible life of oppression and poverty until the Prince swooped her up onto his white horse and they rode off into the sunset together where they would live happily ever after and she would never know another problem for as long as she lived. The handsome Prince would take all responsibilities off of her shoulders, make all the boogiemen go away, and only asked for her love and adoration in return. The Cinderella Complex is a mind state where someone believes that if the right "One" comes into their life, all of their problems will disappear.

How does this tie into dominance and submission? It does not. I understand the allure for women who see themselves as life's victims to think, "oh yes....A dominant man! He'll tell me what to do and take all responsibility from me and take care of me and my life and all will be perfect as it was meant to be." That isn't being a submissive. It is being weak and focused upon one's self. Such women are seeing this relationship only for what THEY are getting out of it. It is no one's responsibility to fix your life other than your own. Remember, quality dominants are rarely attracted to submissives who are a mess. People choose a partner because they feel that person will contribute positively to their life. It is a proven fact that like attracts emotional like. The more healthy partner will leave the less healthy one in search of someone closer to his/her emotional state of well being.

Submission is not about giving up responsibility. Submission is about giving up control. Those two things may feel like the same thing, but they are not. A person can give up control while maintaining their responsibility to self.

If one wants to submit in order to relieve oneself of life's various responsibilities, they are seeking dysfunction. They are not seeking a dominant, they are seeking someone to support their weakness. Those who use submission as a way to transfer their responsibilities to self onto a dominant are only suspending the inevitable; At some point in time life WILL force them to own their choices. We cannot escape ourselves and our decisions.

In conclusion: Yes, the right partner should be supportive and inspirational to us but it is not up to them to "fix" anyone and honestly, they cannot. No one can fix another person. People can only fix themselves. Submission is submitting to another's will. It is not about finding someone to make life and reality go away.


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