D/s 101-The Basic Terms and Definitions

by Cerina X (all rights reserved)

The following definitions have been written by me to set the tone for the site. These are MY definitions and I take full responsibility for them. Meaning: This page reflects my views and I do not claim that everyone believes as I do.

I did not include bdsm within these definitions as this site's focus is on the psychological part of a d/s relationship and not the physical. This does NOT mean that I do not think bdsm is part of a d/s relationship. I do.

D/s: Domination and submission within a relationship.

What is it?

This is a type of relationship where one partner needs and chooses to submit to the will of another on a level agreed on by both partners. It is about surrendering mind, spirit, heart, and yes....body, but it does not revolve around sex despite what most people would have you believe.

Who and What are dominants and submissives?

The Dominant:

A Dominant is a person with a dominant aspect in their personality who needs and chooses to expand on that dominance through a consensual power exchange. He/she may only require the power exchange in a limited capacity or may choose to exercise their dominance within a full time live in relationship.

Is everyone with a dominant personality a lifestyle dominant?

No. There are many people in the world who have dominant characteristics but have not chosen this type of relationship. Simply being dominant does not mean that person has the tools necessary to understand the submissive psyche to successfully dominate them.

The Master:

A Master is one with extensive domination and submission experience who has proven their ability to dominate and master another human being. Many men choose to be addressed as Master by their submissive and that is their right but it does not make them a Master of the lifestyle.

The Submissive

One who chooses to submit to the will of another within a relationship. The submissive's role is to fulfill the dominant's needs to the best of his/her ability. Their submission may vary from quite limited to extensive within that relationship depending upon the type of partner they choose.

So people who are subservient and/or weak are submissives?

No. Not in this sense. Do not confuse the webster dictionary meaning of the word with the lifestyle meaning of the word. Many lifestyle submissives are incredibly strong minded, strong willed people who have a deep seeded need to submit to another's will within a relationship.

The Slave

My definition ( and no one elses and I don't care who may agree or disagree )
One who needs to feel they are fully/completely under the control of another. This type of submissive typically opts for a greater degree of submission within the relationship.

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Excellent!! The Loving Dominant. SM 101. MUST read for newbies!!! Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns Sensuous Magic.